So, the Readers said…
“Here is a whole page
full of reader quotes.”
And then I’d be done
for the week without having to actually do anything. It could take Editor Doug
MONTHS to catch on, as he really doesn’t read this stuff (Editor’s
Note: Huh? Read what?). This week was mostly reassuring, though. Apparently,
I am far from being alone in thinking that Ricky Williams is a Goat Doot. Point
of fact, I have yet to receive a Pro-Ricky mail. To the contrary, many readers
seem primed to burn Ricky in effigy on a daily basis.
Here are some of the send-offs
Ricky has inspired:
Reader Steven Inquired:
“How can anyone be so, well, stupid?”
Reader Jack Lamented:
“Hard to have more than a small amount of compassion for someone that
has obscene amounts of money throw at them because of an athletic ability. I
guess we now have a new poster boy for selfish actions.”
Well, Kellen Winslow Jr.
is coming pretty close. Turning down the opportunity to be the highest paid
Tight End in the league? Without even having played a DOWN in the NFL? I bet
that makes all the other hardworking Tight Ends in the league feel warm and
Reader Brian Summarized:
“…talk about the class and honor that may have departed with
the loss of NFL athlete’s like Dan Marino, Jim Kelly, Boomer Esaison,
Phil Sims, and Joe Montana – man, I miss those days.”
And that’s really
the bottom line basic rooted through ALL of the ‘Hell With Ricky’
Reader mail: Class. Honor. Integrity. Actual “work” and “respect”
for “others” stuff that occasionally, Pro Athletes don’t comprehend.
Now, luckily, there still ARE players out there who are real Class Act type
of people. Check out our own Trent Dilfer for one. Look no further than the
Grant Wistrom Foundation. The Class Acts haven’t left us, amigos…
They just don’t get quite the ratings they used to, so they’ve lost
a lot of coverage.
Lots of stuff to cover this
week, so I can’t linger. Now it’s on to:
Local Sports Oddity
This ties into a Reader
Dave request that I share some local weird sports news and take a break
from covering weird British sports. It’s only fair. I’ll provide
a more specific example shortly, so hang in there, Dave.
As you may or may not be
aware, my new home has an indoor football team. The San Angelo Stampede are
members of the brand spanking new Intense Football League. They were
sitting at the top of the division, though now they’re finding themselves
on the verge of being squeezed out of the playoffs.
Question: How do you have
a “Playoffs” with just one division? Doesn’t the team who
wins the most games “Win”? I’m mildly confused by this, but
I’ll trudge onward.
Last weekend, it seems that
a newly acquired player was still supposed to be serving a suspension on the
team from which he was traded. Thus, he was declared ineligible for Saturday’s
game shortly before said contest. The coach, as well as the players, grew quite
irate over this little technicality and basically refused to participate in
the game. San Angelo forfeits, fans go home understandably vexed. What the hell?
I can see perhaps playing
the game under protest, or perhaps… Just sucking it up and PLAYING THE
GAME, get it resolved over the next week. But, NO! The Stampede elected to take
their ball and go home. Way to win over the local support in the first year,
Then, it got stranger. San
Angelo’s coach, for his actions on Saturday, was served a “Lifetime
Suspension” from the league.
Question Two: Doesn’t
“Suspend” imply a temporary condition? You’re suspended forever
and ever! Just call it a “Ban”, league persons.
In response to this, nearly
HALF of the Stampede’s roster, including one All-Star Quarterback and
an All-Star Running Back (Or maybe it was a Fullback. Some sort of damn back,
anyway, it doesn’t matter) decide that they’re just going to quit
the team. Yep. Twelve San Angelo players throwing in their helmets and calling
But wait! This same week,
a San Angelo Defensive Tackle (And as I understand it, also a line coach) just
flat-out dies of a heart attack at the mind-numbingly young age of 28. A local
news station, while doing a good piece on the guy, failed to edit out what was
a pretty morbidly ironic quote, “He had a good heart.” Now, call
me overly sensitive, but wouldn’t it be a good time to find a better way
to phrase that?
In any event, a certain
number of the Stampede changed their minds and now they’re going to suit
up and play in the shadow of this tragic event. Most of them are. I THINK. In
fact, it’s hard to tell who’s even still on the team, who’s
quitting, who’s suspended, and, well, who’s still among the living.
It’s become the Days of Our Lives of indoor football. As the Stadium Turns.
Guess we’ll find out
Saturday if we still have a football team or not. So much for the “Playoffs”
that I still don’t comprehend.
Other Weird Local
Okay Dave, here it is…
Just down the road from me, just last week, was held the following annual event…
"The Screaming Weenie
Yes. I don’t know
why it’s called the The
Screaming Weenie Boat Race.
Perhaps because anyone who gets into the boats these people use immediately
BECOMES a screaming weenie. Why? Because of the specific rules pertaining to
the boat race down the Concho River.
The boat must be made from
the following two supplies only
2.) Duct Tape.
How’s THAT for a Wal-Mart
special? In any event, any oars, rudders, or other attachments the participants
wish to utilize fall under the same ‘Cardboard and Duct Tape’ rule.
One contestant even included cardboard flames shooting out the back of his boat,
possibly to symbolize the speed with which it would sink.
Fire off your scintillating
insights, inquiries, and Screaming Weenie Boat Schematics (I’m gonna WIN
it next year!) to firstname.lastname@example.org.