Last Week:
2-3
Season to Date: 33-33-1
When we get to the goal
line, we don’t leap it… we fumble.
And I guess that’s all there really is to say about this team in 2004.
We’re right back where
we started in 1999. Mike Holmgren inherited a talented team that needed to take
the step forward. They didn’t. So he gutted the team, brought in HIS players,
and called it his own.
Well, Mike. Here we are.
Who’s responsible then? You are.
Following another miserable
performance, Shaun Alexander had this to say about our Seattle Seahawks:
"We lay eggs consistently…
As sickening as it is, we'll still be in first place. It's like throwing salt
in a wound. It's like a rock in a shoe. You know what I mean? It's terrible
the way we do it."
Yup. And I’m all out
of cigars (or I’ve lost my thesaurus of inspiration). So let’s talk
about some teams worth discussing…
N ENG –2.5 @ NYJ
Now that we’ve all had time to recover after witnessing Tom Brady perform
a most uncharacteristic ass-flop toss to the Tangerine Dolphins - thereby collectively
tripping his team on their backs, looking up at the Steelers for Home Field
Advantage – let’s consider how we think they’ll react…
The Patriots have proven to be true champions. They will react in the manner
they should. As champions do. They’re chomping at the bit to make grass
stains out of the Jets in the Meadowlands. Count it.
Meanwhile, the J-E-T-S hit
the field with some very adept play calling facing that-team-we-won’t-mention
last Sunday. That’s what good coaching will get ya. You know, the kinda
coaching where you take the opponent into consideration and game plan accordingly.
Better defined as, uh – smart coaching! They’ve earned a playoff
spot with their approach and play this year. Yup. Unfortunately, the Pats are
much too wise to get fooled by misdirection. Chad Pennington will find the flats
covered in this contest. The Pats are going to yank the security blanket away
from Linus and Brady will have his redemption.
For the record (and
since I threw the Peanuts jab in there, I should qualify): I admire what Chad
had to say this week. Rather than the general media who hypocritically reacted
to his genuine comments with cry-baby disdain and insecure pomposity –
I recognize the guts it takes for the man to stand up there on a podium in New
York City, and call them out on their double standard. He never questioned their
credibility. He simply questioned their motivations. I for one applaud it.
And you’re right,
Chad. It is as much a privilege for me to have the right, and the methods, to
print it. As it is for you to play it. Now go out and earn your money, you rich
*epithet*…
MIN –3 vs GBAY
Okay, so the Vikings burned me last week and left an unqualified Detroit team
alive – just enough to win but fail to cover (I’m a little alarmed
at the number of 3 point games I’ve narrowly missed on either side (see
last wk vs ATL). Ay, it’s a cruel, cruel world). I’ll chalk that
up to them looking forward to THIS week’s match-up.
I still feel Minnesota is
an enormous threat to anyone in the NFL this year. And I feel they’re
far more deserving than the Packers (who had my Jagywirez right where they wanted
them in the bitter cold last Sunday, eh cheez wiz?) The Purple are NOT laying
down for anybody, compete each and every week, have weathered several key injuries,
and they are going to claim the division this Sunday.
Repeat after me: The Packers
are not worthy. The Packers are not worthy. Their string of consecutive wins
was crammed full of weak opponents and they are simply not worth a playoff spot.
You can be certain I’m already banking the team they face on Wild Card
Weekend. The Pack will be road bound the rest of the season – this week,
next, and the 1st week of the playoffs. Don’t forget to bring extra tidy
whities, moldy yellow...
CAR +3 @ TBAY
I can’t understand this spread (and that does have me worried). Just what
has Tampa Bay done that has everyone so in love with them for the final NFC
seed? We started hearing that noise the last time these 2 met - but Carolina
won 21-14. The Bucs then caught the Falcons sleeping to the tune of 27-0 and
everyone jumped on board, and stayed there. Apparently ignorant to the fact
the Bucs have since lost to the Chargers and the Saints in succession.
On the flipside, Carolina
falls short by a razor to another freak-leap by Michael Vick (in one of the
more entertaining and competitive games of the year, not to mention plays)…
and they’re done? Sorry, sports fans – the Carolina story is one
of the most inspiring in modern day football. And it ain’t over. They’ll
take the final seed, thank you (well deserved).
DENVER –4 @ TEN
In my pre-season report I had the AFC WEST down as a blurry mystery that only
had one result certain – the Bolts won’t be involved. Forgiving
me that miscalculation (and please, can anyone honestly claim they had the Chargers
as a pre-season favorite? Be real) that’s proven to be quite accurate.
Denver appeared to be a team that had lots, but little. There weren’t
any team weaknesses… but there weren’t any team strengths either.
In today’s NFL that appears to be enough to put you in contention for
the playoff’s.
Lately, folks have been
really down on Jake Plummer as a QB. Contrarily, I think he’s played quite
well. It has not been as succinctly individual as a Jake Plummer INT to end
a game. Take away that Bolts game where he threw 4 errors and he’s a respectable
23/15 ratio. (I saw that Bolts game, and he was mostly unlucky, as opposed to
mistake-prone). The problem may be that coach Shanahan has him running bootlegs
all damned day to the point of overkill. It’s become predictable (and
need I mention takes away half the football field). However, facing the Titans
young defense that may be an asset and if Billy Volek comes back down to Earth
I think the Broncos have what it takes to stay in the race. They can’t
afford to lose this game. And they won’t.
P.S. I’m stumping
for Jeff Fisher as our coach in 2005 (their injury report reads like a ‘senior
ditch-day’ roll call). Another Titans loss may help that pursuit…
MIA –7.5 vs CLE
Cleveland has quite early. And the Fish are trying desperately to hold on to
a coach they clearly admire. (Hopefully the idiotically ill-timed Huizenga doesn’t
throw a wrench in that inspiration with his Blockbuster HC offer. Though I wouldn’t
mind Nick Saban in Seahawk blue either. LSU plays my kind of football).
Next week, I’ll be AWOL playing St. Nick and getting drunk on the spirit
of children. Merry Xmas to you and yours, eh. But let me say this: The playoffs
are the time to shine… and I intend to do so here at BTM. Expect a winning
record come January, or else serve up those complaints!!
N ENG –2.5
MIN –3
CAR +3
DENVER –4
MIA –7.5
Beat the Man… cuz he makes fun of the guy in the fat suit.
G. Scott Jones is a freelance writer who contributes regularly to Seahawks.NET.
Reaction of any sort is always encouraged at schleprockhawk@sbcglobal.net.