mental disease that infects the chemical composition in the brains of otherwise
rational human beings once their NFL team begins to turn their season from poor
to good. Especially rampant in east coast fan bases. Signs include talking insufferable
trash in opponent team forums, a severe lack of respect for opponent team's
success, strengths, talent and the distinct inability to recognize clear and
unbiased thought-process and judgment. For reasons unknown, a small percentage
of each fan base is able to avoid this disease altogether.
I'm not sure what turns some fans into buttholes but it's a rampant problem
in America that needs to be addressed.
As a die-hard fan of the
Seattle Seahawks going on 32 years, I have witnessed far more than my share
of buttholes within the NFL fan community. Having created a forum community-driven
fan site, that number climbs exponentially with each year.
Now let me make something
perfectly clear. In no way am I suggesting the Seahawks fan base is devoid of
butthole-itis. The truth is every fan base in the NFL is littered with those
suffering from this prevalent disease.
At no other time during
the course of the NFL season does butthole-itis present itself more efficiently
and effortlessly than in the playoffs.
Currently, the infestation
is manifesting through the fan base of the red-hot Washington Redskins.
A month ago, the Redskins
were a lame-duck sitting at 5-7. Since then, they have won 4 straight off the
lead of their 3rd string quarterback and a team that has rallied around the
death of Safety Sean Taylor who was killed tragically after being shot in a
So while there can be no
humor found in that tragedy, it is likely that the success the Redskins have
had since could in part be due to the kind of inspiration that can only stem
from rallying around one another in time of crisis.
So before continuing, I
do tip my cap to the organization for rallying together and playing inspired
football through the loss of a teammate. A situation that can only end up either
one of two ways; Implosion or Inspiration. The Redskins chose the latter.
Now having said that, it
is time for many a Redskins faithful and media bobble head to come back down
to planet earth a wee-bit.
The Seahawks are used to
being underrated by fans of other teams as well as the national media. When
you play football in "Southern Alaska" that tends to happen. But lack
of media respect is no excuse for blatant stupidity.
Another symptom of butthole-itis
by the way.
Before some of you Redskins
fans go purchasing tickets to the Dallas divisional playoff game this week,
you might want to consider just a few facts first.
- In the past four years
no other NFC team has won more games (51) than the Seahawks.
- In the past five years
only the Colts and Patriots have won more (5) consecutive division titles
than the Seahawks (4).
- Qwest Field is home to
more false start penalties (68) for opponents than any other stadium in the
NFL since 2004.
- No other NFC team has
had winning records the past five seasons other than the Seahawks.
- Since 2002, The Seahawks
are 34-7 at home. Only the Patriots have a better home record in that time-span.
- Seattle's secondary led
the league allowing only 15 TDs this season and second in the NFL for holding
opposing quarterbacks to a passer rating of 73.0
- Seattle's defense led
the NFC this season with 20 interceptions.
The point of all these peacock feathers is to help remind fans and media that
while nobody is claiming the Seahawks are marching into Arizona in February
to overtake the Patriots, you would be hard pressed to find a team with a more
remarkable and consistent level of success in the league over the past four
A simple truth that is lost
on ESPN and apparently anyone living outside the Pacific Northwest.
If you're looking at the
final game, a loss against Atlanta, as any indication of what the Redskins have
to look forward to on Saturday, you are in for a very big surprise. As much
as the team would have preferred to finish the season with a victory, their
minds and souls were already looking forward to this Saturday.
I actually think the Washington
Redskins have a decent chance at beating the Seahawks this Saturday. Never underestimate
the power of pulling together for a cause and right now the Redskins are playing
However, the advantage is
clearly in Seattle's favor. We're at home. In front of the loudest fans in the
NFL. The Seahawks may not be the greatest road team, but at home?
Quite nearly unbeatable.
So for all of you classy,
intelligent Redskins fans, I say to you, may the best team win. The Redskins
are playing very good football at the right time. They will give the Seahawks
all they can handle I'm sure.
For all of you buttholes,
well, I can't write what I would really like to say to you clowns.
Oh, just one friendly reminder:
Your fun little ride ends
Todd Breda is the owner
of Seahawks.NET. When he's terribly busy not writing Breda Reports, you can
find him either scanning the skies for UFOs or perusing NET Nation where he's
known as "Aros". Todd, like Matthew, is also bald. If you would like
to contact Todd you can reach him here.